[attr="class","jayjaytop"]

[attr="class","body"] jayden knows his error.

[break][break] even long thereafter, it buzzes under his skin. walsh's mark burns in reply.

[break][break] to THEO BECKETT, his head dips.

[break][break] "sir."

[break][break] jayden steps through the underboss' office, obedient, as he sits in that steel chair.

[break][break] "i'm... fine."

[break][break] he was not fine. fern delaney was in recovery, MATIAS SILPH was still alive, and he and Felix Gallagher had disobeyed a direct order.

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THEO BECKETT

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[attr="class","jayjaytop"]

[attr="class","body"] "i..."

[break][break] the severe tone that THEO BECKETT used with him made him flinch. whether it was because of past trauma that was a trigger, or the fact that the past events had made him more sensitive to it, jayden kept his head bowed.

[break][break] "i am unhappy," he confesses. "with myself."

[break][break] "we let him get away."

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THEO BECKETT

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[attr="class","jayjaytop"]

[attr="class","body"] he hadn't —

[break][break] had he?

[break][break] jayden thinks back to it. thinks back to the battle that they'd just had with FERNANDO SILPH and illeana reyes, thinks back to the way that his sword had cleaved through the air with the full intent to kill. and yet, somehow, they'd let them go.

[break][break] he'd let them go.

[break][break] "i - i don't know, sir."

[break][break] his jaw locks.

[break][break] "i should have done better. i'm sorry."

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THEO BECKETT

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[attr="class","jayjaytop"]

[attr="class","body"] "i should have listened to, i shouldn't have - "

[break][break] followed Felix Gallagher. disobeyed THEO BECKETT.

[break][break] let his emotions drag him out into daylight, be impulsive, be independent.

[break][break] "i should have waited."

[break][break] should have listened.

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THEO BECKETT

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[attr="class","jayjaytop"]

[attr="class","body"] 'that's on me for thinking better of you.'

[break][break] you disappointed me.

[break][break] he flinches.

[break][break] the darkrai mark on his arm burns with heat, a reminder of the agony that he had yet to face.

[break][break] "i know," he said thickly, head still bowed. "i'm sorry, sir."

[break][break] it was his fault. he had been too reckless. he had wanted it too much.

[break][break] the sight of FERNANDO SILPH with illeana reyes, the sight of the league winning yet again.

[break][break] the trust that he had put in people like Felix Gallagher, and the failings of his inability to hold back.

[break][break] he'd wanted to prove himself and he'd failed.

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THEO BECKETT

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[attr="class","jayjaytop"]

[attr="class","body"] the mark burns hotter and hotter, but not quite as much as the heat of guilt and shame that THEO BECKETT all but forces down his throat.

[break][break] a hand, obediently, is placed on the table.

[break][break] he shuts his eyes, knowing what's to come.

[break][break] he can almost taste the beginning of an AROMATHERAPY, like an acrid burn in the back of his throat.

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THEO BECKETT

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[attr="class","jayjaytop"]

[attr="class","body"] jayden doesn't know it.

[break][break] at least not in this moment. he will think about it later, staring at the angry red mark that will cut into his flesh, a mimicry of his mentor's age-old scar.

[break][break] in this moment, he can only feel guilt.

[break][break] so when grief means screaming flesh, he does not scream. he bites down on his bottom lip until it bleeds, heat spreading through him at the familiar pain. the pain that he deserved.

[break][break] he won't disobey him, not again.

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THEO BECKETT

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[attr="class","credit"]☉